Post by Freddy Peterson on Oct 24, 2016 12:48:57 GMT
ohmy.disney.com/tv/2016/10/20/the-golden-girls-in-5-minutes/?cmp=smc%7C631315682
Today, we have challenged ourselves to tell the story of the entire series of The Golden Girls in 5 short minutes. We will most likely fail miserably at this (we could go on for 5 minutes solely about Rose’s St. Olaf stories), but we will try our best. The 5 minutes start now:
THEME SONG
“Thank You For Being a Friend,” aka the greatest song of all time.
THE MAIN CAST
Dorothy: A sarcastic and witty substitute teacher who is often the voice of reason in the group.
Rose: A sweet and sometimes clueless grief counselor (among other jobs throughout the season) from St. Olaf.
Blanche: A confident southern Belle, who works at a museum and is often going out on dates.
Sophia: Dorothy’s Sicilian mother who is sassy and slightly mysterious about her past. It’s fitting that the home she lived in (which burned down) was named Shady Pines.
BEST CATCHPHRASES
“Not now, Maw!” – Dorothy
“Back in St. Olaf …” – Rose
“Picture it …” – Sophia
THINGS THAT HAPPEN A LOT
The girls going out to the lanai
The girls eating cheesecake
Sophia devising a crafty plan
Blanche and Dorothy fighting over the same man
Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose fighting over the same man
All of the girls fighting over the same man
Rose telling stories that don’t make sense
Dorothy hitting Rose with newspapers
Blanche being proposed to
THE PILOT
Dorothy enters
Dorothy is irritated because the kids she teaches have green hair
There’s a man named Coco who helps around the house
Rose comes in and talks about her day
Dorothy responds to Rose sarcastically
Blanche comes in and announces she’s going on a date
Dorothy responds sarcastically
They all talk about dating
Dorothy tells a story
Rose doesn’t understand
Dorothy explains
Rose understands
Sophia pulls up to the house in a taxi. Her building burned down. She’s going to stay with the girls now
Shenanigans
Blanche is deciding whether or not to get married after a proposal
Rose has a bad feeling about the marriage and wants to tell Blanche
Dorothy locks Rose in a closet. Problem solved
Rose is rescued from the closet by Coco
Blanche is left at the alter
Blanche is sad for a few weeks and then gets through it because of her friends
Blanche thanks Dorothy and Rose for being her friends
Sophia wonders how long Blanche’s speech is going to be because she’s “80 and has to plan”
Blanche says, “Even if we all get married, we’ll stick together”
SEASON 1
Dorothy’s daughter is getting married to a podiatrist. He’s super handsome
Dorothy has to see Stan, her ex-husband who left her for a flight attendant, at the wedding
Dorothy is not happy about having to see Stan
Stan has an interesting hair situation going on. It’s not hair. We’re not sure what it is
Dorothy and Blanche date the same man and fight
Dorothy and Blanche make up because it’s Golden Girls first, men second, for life
Stan tries to get Dorothy to forgive him. Dorothy is not having it
Dorothy’s sister tries to steal Sophia. Dorothy is not having it
Blanche gets proposed to. Again
Everyone gets the flu and it’s terrible
Big Daddy Hollingsworth (Blanche’s dad who has quite possibly the best name since Coco in this series) rolls up to Miami and tells Blanche he sold their family home
Blanche is not happy about this
Flashbacks to how Dorothy and Rose found a notice on a bulletin board which led them to rent rooms in Blanche’s house
SEASON 2
Blanche and Dorothy get arrested
Big Daddy Hollingsworth stirs up trouble again by trying to get remarried
Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche go on quite possibly the worst vacation of all time
Their suitcases are thrown around multiple times and they aren’t having it
Ugh, Stan’s back again annoying everyone
Dorothy and Blanche trick Rose by pretending to answer her personal ad. Rose falls for this because … Rose
The girls all date the same actor
Sophia battles with her sister Angela and it involves deep unresolved issues and pasta sauce recipes
Some handsome police officers have a stakeout in the girls’ house. No one questions this
A Sunshine Cadet steals Rose’s teddy bear and Rose gets it back and throws the cadet out of a door
SEASON 3
The girls have an amazing dance competition that should be required viewing for everyone in the world
The girls all face their fears: Dorothy’s fear of flying, Blanche’s fear of bald men, and Rose’s fear of public speaking. Sophia has no fears
Dorothy dates Stan’s brother, clearly not learning her lesson from Stan
The girls stop getting along and have to go to group therapy and some of the best one-line insults of the series occur
Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose, all fight over the same man. Again
Friendship wins in the end. Again
Dorothy and Blanche wear the exact same dress, and Rose is confused
Sophia tries to sell bottled water out of a hose
Sophia ruins literally every date Dorothy is on with her new boyfriend by not leaving them alone
SEASON 4
Sophia becomes the conductor of a jazz band. Because she’s Sophia
Rose sees a UFO. Because she’s Rose
Sophia marries Max. They buy a pizza place
The girls accidentally burn down the pizza place. It reminds us of Shady Pines
Sophia decides not to be married to Max. Because she does what she wants
Dorothy asks Stan not to get married again to another woman. Ugh, Stan
Rose and Blanche become big sisters to teenagers and the teens are totally rude and out of control
Dorothy and Sophia go to Walt Disney World! They are us!
Dorothy and Sophia are in a pizzeria commercial, furthering their wins this season
The girls almost sell the house
Burt Reynolds shows up in Miami. Of course
SEASON 5
Dorothy has chronic fatigue
Rose works at a TV station and fights ageism
Dorothy dates a clown. Like an actual clown
Blanche dates her late husband’s brother. Just like Dorothy dated Stan’s brother last season
Dorothy’s son Michael moves in but then she has to kick him out to show him the cold hard truth about life
But then, ugh, Stan brings Michael back
Sophia goes home to Brooklyn to picture it. Like, actually to picture it, because she can’t remember some things about her past
Dorothy and Sophia dress like Sonny and Cher for a contest and Rose plays the piano as they sing and it’s the greatest thing ever
The President of the United States decides to visit the home of The Golden Girls. Obviously. They’re a national treasure
SEASON 6
Lot’s of classic Golden Girls drama
Stan gets rich. Finally
Sophia becomes a nun
Blanche finds out her late husband actually faked his own death. What?!
Get ready. Dorothy and Stan are getting married. Again
Dorothy doesn’t marry Stan. For the best
Sophia is accused of being responsible for the Shady Pines fire
The girls dress up as birds and participate in what is quite possibly the greatest school play of all time
SEASON 7
The girls go on a murder mystery weekend and get really into it
Sophia reveals further details about her shady past, making it fitting that she lived in Shady Pines
Dorothy and Stan go to therapy
Stan is the worst
Dorothy and Rose go on a game show
We should probably mention that Rose has been dating this guy named Miles for a while and it’s pretty cute
Dorothy meets Blanche’s Uncle Lucas when Blanche sets them up
Dorothy and Lucas are irritated they have been set up, so they decided to trick Blanche
They pretend they are in love and getting married
Then they actually fall in love and get married
Dorothy is moving out and it’s so sad
THE SERIES FINALE
Dorothy says goodbye to Rose, Blanche, and Sophia
Rose says, “What can you say about 7 years of fights, laughter, secrets, cheesecakes.” You’re right, Rose, what can you say?!
Dorothy says, “I love you. Always.”
Dorothy leaves
Dorothy runs back in the front door
Dorothy says, “You’re angels. All of you.”
Dorothy leaves
Dorothy runs in from another door entirely, yelling, and it’s hilarious
Dorothy says, “You’ll always be my sisters. Always.”
Dorothy leaves for good
The remaining three Golden Girls hug. We break down and sob. We love them so much[/li]
We’re pretty sure this took about 15 minutes and not 5 minutes, but with The Golden Girls we can’t help it. There are thousands of other amazing moments in this brilliant, hilarious, gem of a series. What moment is your favorite?
Today, we have challenged ourselves to tell the story of the entire series of The Golden Girls in 5 short minutes. We will most likely fail miserably at this (we could go on for 5 minutes solely about Rose’s St. Olaf stories), but we will try our best. The 5 minutes start now:
THEME SONG
“Thank You For Being a Friend,” aka the greatest song of all time.
THE MAIN CAST
Dorothy: A sarcastic and witty substitute teacher who is often the voice of reason in the group.
Rose: A sweet and sometimes clueless grief counselor (among other jobs throughout the season) from St. Olaf.
Blanche: A confident southern Belle, who works at a museum and is often going out on dates.
Sophia: Dorothy’s Sicilian mother who is sassy and slightly mysterious about her past. It’s fitting that the home she lived in (which burned down) was named Shady Pines.
BEST CATCHPHRASES
“Not now, Maw!” – Dorothy
“Back in St. Olaf …” – Rose
“Picture it …” – Sophia
THINGS THAT HAPPEN A LOT
The girls going out to the lanai
The girls eating cheesecake
Sophia devising a crafty plan
Blanche and Dorothy fighting over the same man
Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose fighting over the same man
All of the girls fighting over the same man
Rose telling stories that don’t make sense
Dorothy hitting Rose with newspapers
Blanche being proposed to
THE PILOT
Dorothy enters
Dorothy is irritated because the kids she teaches have green hair
There’s a man named Coco who helps around the house
Rose comes in and talks about her day
Dorothy responds to Rose sarcastically
Blanche comes in and announces she’s going on a date
Dorothy responds sarcastically
They all talk about dating
Dorothy tells a story
Rose doesn’t understand
Dorothy explains
Rose understands
Sophia pulls up to the house in a taxi. Her building burned down. She’s going to stay with the girls now
Shenanigans
Blanche is deciding whether or not to get married after a proposal
Rose has a bad feeling about the marriage and wants to tell Blanche
Dorothy locks Rose in a closet. Problem solved
Rose is rescued from the closet by Coco
Blanche is left at the alter
Blanche is sad for a few weeks and then gets through it because of her friends
Blanche thanks Dorothy and Rose for being her friends
Sophia wonders how long Blanche’s speech is going to be because she’s “80 and has to plan”
Blanche says, “Even if we all get married, we’ll stick together”
SEASON 1
Dorothy’s daughter is getting married to a podiatrist. He’s super handsome
Dorothy has to see Stan, her ex-husband who left her for a flight attendant, at the wedding
Dorothy is not happy about having to see Stan
Stan has an interesting hair situation going on. It’s not hair. We’re not sure what it is
Dorothy and Blanche date the same man and fight
Dorothy and Blanche make up because it’s Golden Girls first, men second, for life
Stan tries to get Dorothy to forgive him. Dorothy is not having it
Dorothy’s sister tries to steal Sophia. Dorothy is not having it
Blanche gets proposed to. Again
Everyone gets the flu and it’s terrible
Big Daddy Hollingsworth (Blanche’s dad who has quite possibly the best name since Coco in this series) rolls up to Miami and tells Blanche he sold their family home
Blanche is not happy about this
Flashbacks to how Dorothy and Rose found a notice on a bulletin board which led them to rent rooms in Blanche’s house
SEASON 2
Blanche and Dorothy get arrested
Big Daddy Hollingsworth stirs up trouble again by trying to get remarried
Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche go on quite possibly the worst vacation of all time
Their suitcases are thrown around multiple times and they aren’t having it
Ugh, Stan’s back again annoying everyone
Dorothy and Blanche trick Rose by pretending to answer her personal ad. Rose falls for this because … Rose
The girls all date the same actor
Sophia battles with her sister Angela and it involves deep unresolved issues and pasta sauce recipes
Some handsome police officers have a stakeout in the girls’ house. No one questions this
A Sunshine Cadet steals Rose’s teddy bear and Rose gets it back and throws the cadet out of a door
SEASON 3
The girls have an amazing dance competition that should be required viewing for everyone in the world
The girls all face their fears: Dorothy’s fear of flying, Blanche’s fear of bald men, and Rose’s fear of public speaking. Sophia has no fears
Dorothy dates Stan’s brother, clearly not learning her lesson from Stan
The girls stop getting along and have to go to group therapy and some of the best one-line insults of the series occur
Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose, all fight over the same man. Again
Friendship wins in the end. Again
Dorothy and Blanche wear the exact same dress, and Rose is confused
Sophia tries to sell bottled water out of a hose
Sophia ruins literally every date Dorothy is on with her new boyfriend by not leaving them alone
SEASON 4
Sophia becomes the conductor of a jazz band. Because she’s Sophia
Rose sees a UFO. Because she’s Rose
Sophia marries Max. They buy a pizza place
The girls accidentally burn down the pizza place. It reminds us of Shady Pines
Sophia decides not to be married to Max. Because she does what she wants
Dorothy asks Stan not to get married again to another woman. Ugh, Stan
Rose and Blanche become big sisters to teenagers and the teens are totally rude and out of control
Dorothy and Sophia go to Walt Disney World! They are us!
Dorothy and Sophia are in a pizzeria commercial, furthering their wins this season
The girls almost sell the house
Burt Reynolds shows up in Miami. Of course
SEASON 5
Dorothy has chronic fatigue
Rose works at a TV station and fights ageism
Dorothy dates a clown. Like an actual clown
Blanche dates her late husband’s brother. Just like Dorothy dated Stan’s brother last season
Dorothy’s son Michael moves in but then she has to kick him out to show him the cold hard truth about life
But then, ugh, Stan brings Michael back
Sophia goes home to Brooklyn to picture it. Like, actually to picture it, because she can’t remember some things about her past
Dorothy and Sophia dress like Sonny and Cher for a contest and Rose plays the piano as they sing and it’s the greatest thing ever
The President of the United States decides to visit the home of The Golden Girls. Obviously. They’re a national treasure
SEASON 6
Lot’s of classic Golden Girls drama
Stan gets rich. Finally
Sophia becomes a nun
Blanche finds out her late husband actually faked his own death. What?!
Get ready. Dorothy and Stan are getting married. Again
Dorothy doesn’t marry Stan. For the best
Sophia is accused of being responsible for the Shady Pines fire
The girls dress up as birds and participate in what is quite possibly the greatest school play of all time
SEASON 7
The girls go on a murder mystery weekend and get really into it
Sophia reveals further details about her shady past, making it fitting that she lived in Shady Pines
Dorothy and Stan go to therapy
Stan is the worst
Dorothy and Rose go on a game show
We should probably mention that Rose has been dating this guy named Miles for a while and it’s pretty cute
Dorothy meets Blanche’s Uncle Lucas when Blanche sets them up
Dorothy and Lucas are irritated they have been set up, so they decided to trick Blanche
They pretend they are in love and getting married
Then they actually fall in love and get married
Dorothy is moving out and it’s so sad
THE SERIES FINALE
Dorothy says goodbye to Rose, Blanche, and Sophia
Rose says, “What can you say about 7 years of fights, laughter, secrets, cheesecakes.” You’re right, Rose, what can you say?!
Dorothy says, “I love you. Always.”
Dorothy leaves
Dorothy runs back in the front door
Dorothy says, “You’re angels. All of you.”
Dorothy leaves
Dorothy runs in from another door entirely, yelling, and it’s hilarious
Dorothy says, “You’ll always be my sisters. Always.”
Dorothy leaves for good
The remaining three Golden Girls hug. We break down and sob. We love them so much[/li]
We’re pretty sure this took about 15 minutes and not 5 minutes, but with The Golden Girls we can’t help it. There are thousands of other amazing moments in this brilliant, hilarious, gem of a series. What moment is your favorite?